Ask not 'how can I?', ask 'why don't I?'!

While working in for the government I wanted a promotion to the executive level. I would sit at work looking at people working at that level thinking, I can do that work and I bet that I could do it better than they could. I was frustrated but at the same time I was not applying for any positions.  Every time I thought about it I would buy myself off with; 'I'm not ready yet, they probably know something that I don't, the other people applying a probably better than me, or my managers would give me opportunities if they thought I could do the job.

Asking myself how can I get a promotion left me with a thousand reason why I was not ready or able to get the promotion and a limited set of opportunities for me to take. So I continued to produce high quality work and excel at my job but a promotion was nowhere in sight. My experience of work was limited, dissatisfying and frustrating.

Now, this is quite normal as our education system, recruitment systems and accomplishment are wrapped up in knowing more, having more experience or being a better person. We are tested and evaluated on these things and so we think that to achieve the next level in performance it is knowledge, experience or just being more or better at something that is required and so we seek out more knowledge, experience, etc...

Let's throw that out for the moment and let's look from another point of view wh ere you don't need more of anything. Let's look from the point of view that you already have everything you need to do the job. Then let's ask the question 'if that is the case, why don't I?'

I asked myself that question and I realised that I didn't because I thought I might fail, I doubted I could perform at that level and had many other opinions about myself and others. I also noticed that I held these opinions as truths but had never actually stopped to test them. I quickly realised that all of them were thoughts and opinions in my head, no one had ever said them to me, and many could be falsified.

See the question 'why don't I do this?' asked from the point of view that I have everything I need , brings forth the opinions and truths that we hold to the foreground so that they can be tested. Any of these opinions and truths can be helpful but most often get in the way of what we want to accomplish.  The only benefit we get out of believing them is that we get to be right and that is the booby prize.

Now, I knew that jobs maybe opening in the next few months, and finding no real reason to not go for the job, I decided to get ahead meet with the people responsible for that area and shared with them my interest in promotion and working in that area. By the time the recruitment started, those responsible for recruitment where contacting me to ensure I apply. The interview was a breeze as I already had personal relationships with two of the three people on the interview panel.

I got the promotion, but the real kicker was when I negotiated my salary. I was initially thinking starting at entry level as I had little experience at that level, and then I remembered 'why don't I?' and instead applied to enter at the second top pay grade knowing the worst that they could do is refuse the request. So I ended up getting paid at the second top level on starting and never looked back.

So ask yourself the question 'why don't I?' and see for yourself. You will find the obvious reasons like, 'I don't have enough time', or 'I don't have the resources'. Let them go, believing them limits your thinking. You may also find less obvious truths like 'I don't have the right team' or 'my manager is not supportive'. Let that go, it will stop you having the conversations you want to have. And you may find even more abstract truths such as 'I am not the right person', 'people don't listen to me', or 'the culture in the organisation isn't right'. Let them go! Let them go! The just get in your way.

All of these opinions and truths are the barriers to effective performance and breakthrough results. The more we believe these to be true, the less becomes possible in life. And importantly the less you can accomplish.

So next time you not sure how to get the result you want, follow these four steps:

1. Create in your mind that you already have everything you need to accomplish any outcome
2. Ask yourself 'if that is the case, why don't I do 'x'
3. Let go of all the opinions/truths that arise until you see how you could accomplish 'x'
4. Create a plan of actions to produce 'x'

I use this question everyday whenever I confront a situation where I think something can't be accomplished and it yields dividends every time no matter how small or big the issue is.

My thanks to Landmark Worldwide, whose training made this way of thinking possible for me.

Being Busy

Person 1: How are you? 

Person 2: Busy!! How about you?

Person 1: Yeah, me too. I have so much to do. 

This must be one of the most common answers to the question of how we are. I hear it daily and often fall into the trap of using it myself. Every monday morning when I go to work, this same response keeps coming up. So, I would like to have a look at what we really mean when we say "I'm busy!!". What is it to be 'busy'? And why are we so attached to it as an answer?

The first place to start is with a dictionary which says "having a great deal to do". Now this is an accurate statement and in this sense we are always busy and always have been. From the moment we are born into the game of life there is a great deal of things we have available to us to do. We can learn how to walk, go to school, university, find a job, a partner, buy or build a house, have children, retire and of course have fun a long the way. Over a lifetime there is much that a human is out to accomplish and fulfill on. Some achieve all of them and more, some don't and some choose a different pathway all together. However for each of us when we wake up, we are confronted (or inspired) by the work we out to do that day, week or year.

What is curious as I have highlighted in the previous sentence is that there is an emotional context to the word busy that is not present in the definition. When we use the word 'busy', in this context it seems to implies more. It is not just that we have great deal to do, as that is always present, but somehow it is that being busy is a problem. Rarely does anyone jump out of bed in excitement about the busy day before them. No, busy is something to be overcome, something to deal with, a frustration in the way of what would otherwise be a perfect life.

So, when we say we are busy, it lands as a constraint on our lives. It is that which stops us from being happy, free and able to fulfill on what is important us.

"I would love to just relax but I am busy."

"If only I had the time to pursue my art or music, but I am just so busy."

So, given that there is always a great deal to do in life, more than can ever be fulfilled, so that being busy is a fact of life. Why do we relate to it like a constraint? Busy is just the way the world is. There is what we do, what we don't do and tomorrow there is another day.

Well, I have a conclusion. The use of the term busy has nothing to do with what you actually are doing in life. Being busy is instead a convenient and socially acceptable way for each of us to avoid responsibility for our lives and survive in life. Why busy is a constraint, is because for many of us while we are doing things in life, we are not doing the things we want in life. We are doing the things that others or society want us to do. Doing the things that make us look good, help us fit in. And we don't want to admit that or take on that we can actually have life the way we want it.

I do not want to discount that there is a lot to do and each day we make (sometimes difficult) choices about what we are going to do and what we are not going to do and we cannot fulfill on all of it. But when you make choices about what to do each day that are consistent with what you want to do and what your life is about. Then there is no busy, there is just doing. Waking up in the morning might occur as an opportunity to do more of the things you want rather than another day at the office. And then when someone ask you how are you, you might just say

"I am great, there is a lot I am going to do today and I am really looking forward to doing it. Let me tell you about it..."

Entry

I started this blog as I want my life to be for something bigger but at this point I don't know how it is going to happen. Ever felt frustrated with the public conversation, disappointed in the verbal conflict more interested in proving a point than actually engaging in conversation. What would the world be like if we talked about what works and not about what is wrong. That we talked about what is possible and not about what gets in the way. That we talked about solutions and not problems. If that is the case with you, you may find this blog of interest. If not, feel free to spend your time elsewhere. At this point I do not know how this will look or if it will work, but let start writing sharing and have the conversation shift. Who knows what possible when the conversation shifts Thanks for reading!!